Movies I'm excited for

So it's been awhile since I last posted anything. Prolific I ain't, what can I say? But I've been crawling around IMDB and Apple.com's trailer site and I must say, I'm impressed with the offerings of Hollywood. Sure, there's plenty of crap that's guaranteed to fill seats and sell lots of salty popcorn and icy Coke, but there's also a pretty decent selection of films that, from what I've seen, appear to be decent examples of what movie makers can do when they forget about the bottom line and focus on the story. I like to think that what I've selected as my must sees are not traditional summer fare (with one or two exceptions), but even if they are, so be it. It's hot, and the theaters have air conditioning, something which I (very regrettably) lack. Without further ado, my list of movies I want to see! These are in no particular order, by the way.















6.) Splice - Scientists create human/chimera hybrid and raise it as their own, only to have it turn on them. Sounds to me like every parent's very worst nightmare come true, with a delicious sci-fi twist. I predict that a new trend in hairstyling will sweep the nation after this movie comes out, something akin to the Rachael of the 1990s.

















5.) Predators - This is one of the ones I was referring to when I said that my list included a few examples of standard summer fluff. Let's be honest, the Predators are kind of bad-ass (if you forget about the horror that was AVP - Predators should not take pity/mercy on humans. Ever. That's why they're cool/scary. The end.). The mask, the skillz, the super-sized blade on the poster, yes, friends, I'm a bit of a sucker for gratuituous violence. This is not going to break any box-office records, but I think it looks entertaining, and when my brain is melting, that's really enough.


















4.) Inception - Would anyone out there think less of me if I revealed that when I saw the latest trailer for this, I drooled a little bit? Yeah, I didn't think so. You all did the same thing. Here's another query: can Christopher Nolan do wrong? Lately, I'm thinking no. This movie looks like an awesome, mind-bending trip that I can't wait to take. From what I gather, it's like they took the idea of Thought Police and just ran with it. Faaaaantastic.















3.) Dinner for Schmucks - Yeaaaahhhh... I'll level with you, the only reason I have any interest in seeing this is because of Steve Carrell's character's fashioning of 'mouse-terpieces', little diorama-esque recreations of various paintings (The Last Supper is the one featured in the trailer). Call me bizarre, call me morbid, call me a fan of miniature recreations of paintings featuring mouse corpses. I'm sold.















2.) Scott Pilgrim vs. the World - Michael Cera meets girl. Michael Cera falls for girl. Michael Cera must fight, to the death, all seven of girl's evil exes in order to win her heart. Feckin' awesome, says this girl. Feckin' awesome. I've only had someone's ex threaten to punch me while she was drunk as a skunk, but I'm going to choose to view that as a parallel experience, making this movie something like an autobiography for me, told through a male's perspective. P.S. I want a t-shirt with Scott Pilgrim waving triumphantly on it, like he is in the poster. I want to stand on a mountain and, while wearing this shirt, make the same gesture.











1.) Resident Evil: Afterlife: - I feel like I should be tired of this franchise, but I'm not. I think it's due to my secret suspicion that all corporations are experimenting with dangerous materials that, if leaked to the public, would end life as we know it. We all remember the Tickle Me, Elmo debacle, do we not? I shudder at how close the world came to shutting down over those things. Life imitating art, people. I saw people reduced to the most primal of urges while trying to get their hands on those things. Reminds me of a certain stock of villain in the R.E. universe... can't put my finger on which one though...

So that's it for the moment. Plenty of movie watching to last me the whole summer, I think. What say you? Am I missing something? Shanks!